I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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