its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
