I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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