We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
