Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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