she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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