Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
