I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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