Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
