I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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