Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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