some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
