This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
