so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He? As in you personified your dick?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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