yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
