Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize