Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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