He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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