I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
