wanna go halves on a baby?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
