im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
