absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
