none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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