shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
