I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
