Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
