He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
