You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
