I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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