the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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