Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
