well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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