If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
