She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
