You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
