I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
