someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
