He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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