me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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