I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you will always have a special place in my vag
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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