plz talk dirty to me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
