just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
