I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize