sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
