Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
