i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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