i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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