hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
