He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
