dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
