And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
