I puked a lego.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I had to cum in my sink.
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