I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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