p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
