Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm at about main and main street
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
