She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
