You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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