My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
