oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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