Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
