Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
