I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
